were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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