plz talk dirty to me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
