How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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