he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
