So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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