Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
