Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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