I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
