Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
