Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
