Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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