The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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