pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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