I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I stole a fireplace last night.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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