the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
