forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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