lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
