I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
