I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
