I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
