Yo dont text me then not text me
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
