"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
