Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
