I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
