Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
