Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
