yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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