Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
