She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
