If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
