I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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