I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
