I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I understand Curling. That high.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
