Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
