I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
