booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
