I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
