Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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