Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
