....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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