Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
