new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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