I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
