Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
