im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I wear drunk well.
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