Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
