Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
