My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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