Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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