Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Randomize
