oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
