Non-Jews are for practice
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
