I hate all girls vehemently.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
