two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
